You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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