his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
