Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
