I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
