Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
