Jerry, you need to find god
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
