i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
