Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
