i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you would pick up someone in the library
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
