I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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