Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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