Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
