Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
