Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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