i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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