It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
