Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
