Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
