Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
