Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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