You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
