I wanna bring you to show and tell
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize