I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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