Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
