I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
