I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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