I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
