dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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