You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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