My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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