Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
