weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
