there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
