hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just had sex on a roof
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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