And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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