all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
