How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
