she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
