They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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