They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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