Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
