This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
