i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
