I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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