It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
