seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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