Can Purell be used as lube?
Michael Bay diarrhea
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just high enough for therapy.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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