32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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