so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
