Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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