the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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