Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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